Grandma, it's me, Anastasia

lecterings:

'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.

me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
them: no
me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
them: we're not
me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this

sneakychino:

Mario “babyface” Götze scores final-worthy goal against Argentina

Germany - Argentina 1 - 0

tyleroakley:

parkingstrange:

this girl deserves an oscar

me when forced to do chores

slytheringsnake:

my sister just tried to ask me if i wanted to go to bed but instead it came out “Do you need to use the sleep?”

and then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered

"Maybe i need to use the sleep"

me after calling someone out: you must be wearing orthopedic shoes because you stand corrected
Brazil: we came out to have a good time and hones-[Germany scores again]